Putting your dog in a sweater for the holidays is one thing, but when you dress your poor dachshund up in a leopard-print fur coat, it might be time to admit you have a problem. Though there are plenty of puppy outfits on the market that are cute and reasonably appropriate, there are more than a few dog clothes that should just never be worn by any living thing ever. For example, take a look at these hideously tacky ensembles.

1)     Chien Bizarre Fur Coats. Dutch pet accessories manufacturer Chien Bizarre stirred up controversy last year when it announced that it would be producing a line of real mink fur coats for dogs as “a more sustainable alternative” to the synthetic doggy coats that other companies had been producing. As critics have been swift to point out, not only are Chien Bizarre’s coats less sustainable and humane than synthetic products, they also look ridiculous as well. Check out the neck on this coat.  The poor dog can barely move, and they expect people to pay the price of a small car for that?


 2)     Ed Hardy Pet Hoodies.  Ed Hardy is that tattoo-inspired clothing line made popular and then incredibly unpopular by the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore. Though most Ed Hardy clothes can now be found on the discount racks of low-end retailers, the company continues to pump out new products each year, like this dog hoodie. For just $60, you can dress your pooch up like she’s going out for a night of clubbing, shots and poor decision-making. Good luck teaching her how to fist pump, though.

Dog Hoody

3)     Louis Dog Prom Dresses. As if 2013 prom dresses didn’t look ridiculous enough, Louis Dog is now producing a line of prom gowns specifically for dogs. This begs the question – who holds proms for dogs? And more importantly – why weren’t our puppies invited to the dog prom?  Is it because they pooped on the carpet last month? It’s all very confusing and upsetting.

4)     Doggie Bikinis. There are so many things wrong with putting your chihuahua in a bikini that it’s hard to know where to start. First, no dog in the history of dogs has ever had any qualms about diving naked into a pool. Second, a bikini makes you think of your pup in a way that’s just downright creepy. Third, dog bikinis cost as much as people bikinis, running $30 for a top and bottom. For the price of three of these get ups, you could purchase a therapy session to help you figure out why you feel compelled to put dogs in bikinis – and that seems like a better use of your money.

5)     Michael Jackson Dog Costume. Everyone knows Michael Jackson was a cat person. Dressing up your dog like the King of Pop is just spitting on his grave.

Michael Jackson Dog Costume

There’s nothing wrong with dressing up your pet as long as long as you set some boundaries. While it might seem like a good idea at the time to plop your pup into one of these ridiculous outfits, we can assure you that both you and the dog will regret it later. So please, do yourselves a favor and stick to the sweaters and kitschy costumes. Leave these ridiculous outfits for the loony bin.


Kris Williams is a fashion blogger and the overindulgent parent to a French bulldog named Tank. She wouldn’t put Tank in a bikini for $1 million, though for $2 million she would think about it. You can find her blogging over at StyleCynics.

Filed under: Dog Costumes and Clothes

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